


Confessions

by jeonghanism



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Drug Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Mystery, Past Character Death, Suspense, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonghanism/pseuds/jeonghanism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Confessions is a website in which users under hidden identities confess to everyday crimes, sometimes moments before committing them, but mostly after doing so. Kim Mingyu, an avid reader of confessions, finds himself involved in a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a particular confessor that has him questioning his very beliefs and forcing him to face a past he'd much rather forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

 

 

 

It's a little past midnight when Mingyu half stumbles, half drags himself into the local convenience store. The bright lights illuminating the store are almost blinding and he has to blink rapidly to adjust to the sudden change in comparison to the stark darkness outside. His slippers scuff against the worn mats as he makes his way to a familiar isle, offering a measly wave to the girl behind the counter who's used to seeing him come in routinely in his batman pajama set looking as if he was going to pass out any minute. Mingyu hopes he'll pass out one day, and preferably not wake up for weeks. Then maybe it would count as his first decent bout of rest in five years.

 

Five years seems like a long time for sleep to evade an individual, but to Mingyu the days seemed to blend together, despite the fact that he was awake every hour of each. At first he couldn't adjust, he felt like he was going insane. Lying down in a cool, soft bed, tempted by the smell of fresh linen and the feeling of exhaustion only to lie awake all night staring up at the ceiling until his alarm clock rang signaling the next day felt, simply put, like pure hell. Mingyu was in hell and his insomnia kept him there, torturing him with over thinking and boredom. It was awful really, staring up at the dull darkness of his own bedroom ceiling for hours on end, being tempted by the dream world but never quite making it there.

 

It had changed him, his insomnia had. It make him angry, bitter, aloof some days, sensitive the next. Sometimes he felt guilty, other times he just felt plain sorry, for his parents when he ignored their calls and worried messages, and for his friends, for when he would snap on them for the slightest things. But despite it all, Mingyu knew he couldn't really help it. He was just tired, tired and unable to really do anything about it.

 

The medicine had stopped working two years ago, and Mingyu hadn't bothered to see a professional because he knew the reason for his lack of sleep didn't have a medical term for itself. So every weekday night at a little past midnight he'd come stumbling into the local convenience store in his night clothes and buy a bottle of aspirin, for the headaches he had been developing recently, and a bag of sour gummy worms to satiate his night cravings. It's usually the same girl behind the counter, a short, dark haired girl with a detached air about himself, who rings Mingyu up quietly, not bothering to recite the amount owed because Mingyu always buys the same two things and he knows the amount by heart by now. He hands her the cash quickly, mumbling for her to keep the change, to which she doesn't bother with a reply as she returns to her magazine, before making his way toward the exit.

 

The cool night air is a welcome relief compared to the stuffy feeling of the convenience store. Mingyu breathes a silent sigh of relief as he begins the walk back to his apartment, plastic bag clutched loosely in his grip. He could have drove, it was safer and quicker, but for some odd reason Mingyu found that he wasn't really afraid of the dark and what came with it. Rather, he welcomed it, it seemed that in the darkest nights he always felt the most calm. The darkness soothed him, made him feel a little less tired.

 

He's almost half way to his apartment complex when his phone begins to vibrate. He fishes it out of his wallet quickly, taking note of the missed calls from earlier in the day before staring at the new message. It's from Seungcheol of course, the only other person up at this time of night. If it were any other person, Mingyu would ignore it, leave it to be answered next week or whenever he felt like replying, but he found himself unable to shut Seungcheol out completely like he did the others. Maybe it was because when the elder found out about Mingyu's condition he would often stay up late too, texting the younger periodically about random things. But it was the thought that counted Mingyu supposed as he glances at the text once more.

 

_check confessions_

 

It's a simple message, with nothing before or after it, but something about it sends an uneasy feeling coursing through the brunet. It was no secret that Seungcheol despised Confessions. He thought it was creepy, a site full of potential and wanted criminals. It should be shut down, the elder had told Mingyu one day, but the younger just thought the elder was a bit of frightened little boy beneath his strong demeanor. To Mingyu, Confessions was access to the conscience of actual criminals and for some reason, things of that nature intrigued him. He wanted to know why people intentionally killed others, why they chose to steal and their motives for other ill doings. Sometimes Mingyu found himself on the website for hours, fueled by his lack of sleep, trying to configure the mind of these anonymous people and wondering if someone he knew had ever posted on it. After all it wasn't just a site to confess to the crimes they had already committed, but there was also confessions from those considering criminal activities.

 

When Mingyu had first made his account (the website was untraceable and everything was anonymous, so he didn't quite see the harm in joining) the first confession he had ever read was an anonymous user ranting about how they wanted to kill their wife and then proceeded to elaborate on how they planned to do so. Of course the fifteen year old brunet was in for the shock of his life when he came home from a night of bowling the next night to find the neighbor's house surrounded by police officers and in a neatly aligned array of tape, the mangled corpse of said neighbor's wife. It had hit him in that very moment, that confessions was very much real. At first it had terrified him, the prospect of these confessors being every day people, but with time he learned to accept it, just like he had learned to accept that he'd never sleep properly again.

 

As soon as he makes it home the brunet sets about opening the bottle of aspirin, pulling two out before rummaging through his fridge for a bottle of water. He takes the pills one by one before grabbing the plastic bag once more and making his way toward the bedroom. His laptop is already up and loaded, just asleep from the last time he had used it. When the screen comes to life, Mingyu has to squint to adjust to the bright glare, but wastes no time in clicking on the confessions tab which he almost always kept open. He refreshes the page before fumbling with the bag of gummy worms, stomach rumbling quietly. At first, he sees nothing, sans the most recent confessions lining the screen. That is until he spots it. In all of his five years of having his Confessions account, Mingyu has never received any notifications. The red square lining over the messages icon sends an immediate sense of dread through him. Notifications on a site like Confessions could only mean trouble.

 

He hesitates for what seems like an hour, the tiny red square taunting him. His heart is beating rapidly in his chest, gummy worms sitting forgotten beside him, throat suddenly dry. When Mingyu finally does muster up enough courage to finally open the message it's almost two in the morning. What greets him first is the various user names on the recipient line, it's a group message. His dread is instantly replaced with relief when he recognizes them as Seungcheol, Jihoon, and Jeonghan. But his relief is short lived when he realizes he doesn't recognize the other member and creator of the chat. The subject is blank and so is the message. It's weird, the brunet thinks, but he doesn't ponder on it, opting for simply deleting the message and closing the tab. He doesn't bother texting Seungcheol back to let him know he saw the message because the elder probably already knows. Instead, he opens up Netflix on his laptop and spends the rest of the night watching horror movies.

 

When his alarm clock begins buzzing loudly a few hours later signaling the start of a new day he cuts it off but makes no move to leave his bed. He knew coffee wouldn't help him today so there was no point in going to class when he couldn't concentrate. He reaches for his phone on the night stand and sends Seungcheol a text saying he won't be in class. He doesn't receive a reply but he knows the elder received it and will be over later to check on him. So with that in mind Mingyu snuggles back up into his comforter and spends his day binge watching Law & Order on Netflix.

 

It's almost five in the afternoon when Seungcheol finally does come to check on him with Jihoon in tow, looking almost as tired as Mingyu felt. They come with take out and binders filled with notes and assignments. They spend the evening pouring over homework. The blank message is never mentioned, but Mingyu knows it's on the tip of Seungcheol's tongue since the elder had a bad habit of stressing out over just about everything. It would be pointless to bring it up however since Mingyu is too exhausted to care and Jihoon will deny that he does. So they don't acknowledge it and when the pair finally leave hours later, Mingyu feels as if they took a huge weight with them.

 

Things return to normal shortly after that, the message long forgotten with exams approaching. He barely sees the pair since he spends his time cooped away, studying and working. Seungcheol still messages him often, but Mingyu can't be bothered to reply. His headaches are only getting worse making it difficult to concentrate on his studies but he still tries anyway, even with the pounding sensation forming in his head. He's living on coffee, left over pizza, and aspirin, and the unhealthy mixture catches up with him one day when he's in the library rewriting his hastily written notes and a wave of dizziness washes over him, making him sway slightly, pen dropping from his grasp. The girl at the table next to him shoots him a concerned glance, but he ignores her as he pulls out his phone, ready to text Seungcheol to come get him when he sees that he already has a text from the elder. It's another vague message telling him to check Confessions.

 

Mingyu hesitates, a wave of nausea coursing through him making him cup a hand over his mouth to prevent from vomiting on the rather plush library carpet. He knows the librarian would be even less fond of him than she already was, so he hurriedly shoves his things into his bag, ignoring the worried inquiry from the girl beside him before he all but bolts out of there. He hurries to the nearest restroom, which luckily is right across the hall, and isn't too surprised when he almost bumps into Seungcheol in the hallway. The elder always had a strange habit of being quite skilled at finding his friends despite not knowing their location. Mingyu used to think it was creepy, now he was used to it. So when only seconds after he's shoved the stall door open and fallen to his knees, the lunch he ate moments ago coming back up, a strong hand finds its way to his back rubbing soothingly and a calming voice sounds behind him, telling him to take his time and that it will be okay, he's not really surprised.

 

Once he's finished, Mingyu simply remains crouched, dry heaving and spent, listening to Seungcheol's comforting words. When what little strength he has left leaves him, he almost collapsed but the elder catches him, preventing him from hitting his head against the seat and pulling him up as if he weighs nothing. The restroom door opens in that exact moment and when he's pulled from the stall by his friend, one weak glance up finds a rather indifferent looking Jihoon entering, hands stuffed casually in his pockets as he takes in Mingyu's sickly state.

 

"Wow, you look like shit." He comments nonchalantly. Mingyu can't find it in himself to muster enough strength for a glare but finds himself rather thankful when Seungcheol does so for him.

 

"Tell us something we don't know." The eldest among them retorts with the roll of his eyes, but neither he nor Mingyu are expecting the sudden serious tilt to Jihoon's gaze and tone.

 

"Does he know about the messages?" The smaller boy inquires suddenly to which Seungcheol pauses in his trying to wipe Mingyu's mouth clean.

 

"Yes and no-" Is the elder's reply before he directs his answer towards his faint looking friend, "You know about the message from the other night, but not today, or well- these past few weeks really. It's blank too, but it's from the same user, and it has the same recipients: me, you, Jihoon, and Jeonghan-"

 

Mingyu tries to ignore the strange look on Jihoon's face at the mention of Jeonghan, it's an odd mixture between a scowl and a grimace, but when he glances at Seungcheol in the mirror, he finds that the elder's expression isn't any different. Jeonghan was a sore spot for them all, but Mingyu really didn't see the point in dwelling in it, or these random messages. Confessions was a site full of criminals, of course these people were psychotic and enjoyed toying with others. It was bound to happen. He didn't think the messages needed any insight, after all, they were blank. But he figured that was his insomnia talking, right now he wanted nothing more than to sleep off his sudden sickness. He could care less about some silly messages.

 

"So what should we do?" Seungcheol asks, breaking the tense silence that seemed to be consuming them.

 

"Ignore them." Jihoon says simply, before turning, and without so much as another glance back, pushing the door open and exiting the small bathroom, leaving Seungcheol to fuss over Mingyu for the rest of the day.

 

Ignoring them is easy. At least at first it is. Exams are approaching and Mingyu is so busy cramming that he doesn't have time to check Confessions, answer Seungcheol's constant stream of messages, or do much of anything really beside shove his head in whatever books and notes he can salvage. He keeps his refrigerator stocked with alcohol and his cabinets full with instant coffee. His insomnia and sluggishness is somehow kept at bay from the holy duo. He perks himself up with a fresh cup of coffee in the morning and drinks himself into a drunken stupor at night until he eventually passes out. It's not the best solution, but it works for the duration he needs it to.

 

Though Mingyu barely passes his exams, he breathes a long over due sigh of relief when they're finally over. He's in a particularly good mood due to all the sleep he's been getting lately and decides to celebrate by ordering pizza and inviting Jihoon and Seungcheol over. But it's hardly festive when the pair do arrive. In fact they bring such a tense, palpable air with them that Mingyu almost regrets inviting them, almost. When the pair arrive they immediately inform him that the anonymous user hasn't let up in their little game. In fact they sent so many blank messages that, add to an already stressed Jihoon due to exam season, they managed to received a rather pissed off reply from the hot tempered boy.

 

' _What the hell do you want?_ ' Jihoon had sent in the group message, irritated and not really expecting a reply, none of them were really. But apparently the anonymous user had other plans in mind. Not even an hour later did the reply come, the high lighted text sending chills down Mingyu's spine when he sees it.

 

_Your confessions_

 

"What does that even mean?" The tall brunet frowns, glancing at his friends for some sort of explanation. But it never comes because Jihoon looks too angry to bother with a reply and Seungcheol looks as if he hadn't heard him. He sighs then, helping himself to another slice of pepperoni pizza as the silence lingers over them.

 

"Ignoring them won't work this time-" Seungcheol mutters, fumbling with his phone absentmindedly, " What should we do?-"

 

"What do you mean? We should do nothing. After all, we don't have anything to confess to, do we?" Jihoon fumes, allowing his last question to linger only to met with both Seungcheol's and Mingyu's hesitant, guilty faces.

 

" _Exactly_ , there is nothing for us to confess to. So we ignore it, they'll get bored eventually." He continues quickly before either of the pair can interject, eyes narrowed suddenly, " I have to go. I want to make it back to the dorms before dark."

 

They watch him go in silence, irritation radiating off of him in waves, but when he leaves, the tense atmosphere still lingers. Neither of the remaining pair say anything, quietly helping themselves to the remaining pizza and beer. When they finish, they clean up quickly, and Mingyu allows Seungcheol to stay the night when the elder admits he's too tired to walk back home. After a quick shower and helping Seungcheol get settled on the couch, Mingyu finds himself in bed, and despite Jihoon's wishes, he finds himself on Confessions, staring at the small exchange of words from earlier. They stir something deep within him, an emotion he hasn't been able to identify with again until today but he's too drowsy to really ponder it. Because the many drinks he's had today are finally catching up with him and Mingyu is always eager to meet sleep, and this time, it welcomes him pleasantly.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
